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Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Animal Crossing: Good Game, Penguin Floosy: B**ch!

This week I was given “Animal Crossing City Folk” to review for the Wii. Now I must admit I was in my typical, I hate that I am a girl and I get all the stupid games to play place, when I saw the cutesy little cover with the silly little animals. As I created my own little person and made friends along the river of this adorable little world I realized how perfect my life could be if I just lived in this type of fantasy. I built a house for a “friend” nearby and labeled him my boyfriend. I catch fish and grow trees and life is just plain simple.

Then this new penguin moves to town. I don’t even remember her totally ridiculous idiot name, but whatever it is I hate her. She started hitting on my boyfriend and talking trash about me to the other “townsfolk.” Why would someone build a game that simulated real life in this manner? Why do I need to login on a daily basis to be a part of small town gossip and floosy chicks who don’t know to keep their fancy tails to themselves?

Despite my frustration, the game is fun. I can see where children would enjoy playing as grown ups in a world they completely control. You get to make money, buy and sell things, and even decorate your own house. I have just chosen to stop talking to the neighbors.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Why Boys Suck!

As if the total boy atmosphere I work in isn't bad enough, today I walk in and it is like dude times ten. All the guys were scrunched around a single screen whispering, or so they thought. As soon as I walk up they all turn around like a bunch of teenagers caught in the girls' locker room. After a bunch of blubbering I finally elbowed my way past Linus to see some Tomb Raider video that could only be described as porn. Porn on the internet doesn't shock me but come to find out it is some lame guy's response to the whole Ken winning Barbie back thing. All I can say is the video played out to Barbie walking in and catching Ken with Lara Croft. So disgusting. Ryan McCord is the leader of this group, he should have more class. He should respect the beauty surrounding him and not get caught up in some ridiculous ideal. It makes him just like Ken, unable to have a real, meaningful relationship with a girl who would do anything for him. I mean, I am sure there is some girl out there who would feel that way.

While I am no big fan of the big DD Barbie idiocy that men are told to like, but I must defend her honor.  To sit there and watch her be betrayed by some plastic casanova who is wooed away by the seemingly double Gs of an animated whore who could not possibly be as skilled at tomb raiding as she portrays herself to be. Her boobs alone would get in the way of being successful. And when she is being chased I am sure she would have taken it in the chest at least once by now. To think Lara could come in and wreck a 40+ year relationship just cause she's newer is just sad. And to top it off he doesn't even apologize, he tries to guilt Barbie into taking him back by some public declaration? Why not put the truth on the poster. "I can't keep my non-specific private area in my pants, I don't deserve you!" That's what the billboards should say. Ken deserves to have those lame billboards all over town and I hope Barbie shoves one up his non-existent ass. Not to mention takes down Lara with a shiv.