Visit for new updates and episodes!

THE GAME REV.COM Check out everything related and make some noise for our new show!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Why Angelina Jolie must Die

This pseudo care about the world celebrity from hell needs to die and she needs to die soon. I am just saying it is the only way for her to fulfill her own self inflated image. In order to live up to the full scope of her ridiculous martyrdome, it is imperative that she end her life before she becomes ugly. The only way she can truly be remembered as the tragically amazing figure she is trying to be remembered as, a plane crash is in order. Otherwise the rest of the bought out media is going to have time to realize that a girl who is such a media whore, carries around vials of blood, makes out with her brother, and THEN takes on social issues is just lucky she landed a role or she would have been working with the rest of the daddy issue girls for Vivid in the Valley.

The only difference between Jolie and Jenna Jameson is that Jolie started with a famous, yet whorey, Dad who actually steered his daughter away from porn. That of course ended his control on the situation and now she walks around like she is God's gift to the earth, she and those ridiculously large lips that have aging women the world over looking like bozo the clown. Who decided giant lips were in anyway? Why is this a thing now? In Anime the lips are practically non-existent. Tightly drawn line of perfect form, that's what lips should be. Not balloons pasted to your mouth to distract from everything you say because how can you possibly talk with all that extra flesh hanging there? And those poor kids. Have you seen them? I think they are the first pre-schoolers with "enhancements." Everyone says it's natural, but I don't buy it do you? Gerber babies have pudgy cheeks, not lips the size of their cheeks. Ridiculous! Even her doll is scared of those fish lips.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Dance Games Suck

Being the token office girl, I am ALWAYS assigned the stupid, idiotic dance games. I do not understand the obsession with them. I do not understand why they cannot use decent music. The bargain basement rip-offs of good Japanese artists into lame remakes of crappy American songs is even more appalling. As I set up to start working my way through the levels, no one will help. They walk by mocking my "rhythm." Do I need to remind any of these nerds they are the epitome of white boys who can't dance?

To add insult to injury the latest and greatest, "Dancing With the Stars" now throws in my face the real images of these over-wrought, over-endowed, medically enhanced celebrities who can no more dance than they can do anything else. They are simply good at what they do because they weigh all of 10 pounds, okay 20 if they've had their boobs done, and the man can simply throw them wherever they are supposed to be.  How is that dancing? So now it is my job to make these lame online characters move about as if they have skill?

Then I am judged by the ever so annoying people who no one has ever seen dance....well Carrie Anne has, but limitedly. What makes them the judge of me? Why do they get to decide what are good dance moves and what are bad dance moves. And then I am supposed to take dance move instructions from my "partner" the oh so irritating drop out of a boy band wannabe, Mark Ballas? In utter disgust I walked away from the game...for 2 minutes max. I come back, what do I find? Ryan and Trent decided to dance in my absence. Couldn't play with me, but I leave the game unattended and come back to find them getting reviews such as "perfect," "nice moves," and "way to shake those hips." What the game cannot possibly see is that they aren't doing any of the moves at all. They are slinging the controllers around in an attempt to see how many points you can earn by not dancing at all. This is ridiculous.