Royal Wedding: Duchess of Crapbridge!

The entire lead up to this ridiculous royal wedding was annoying enough, but listening to the ludicrous news organizations yammer on and on about every little detail makes my blood boil. Like it is so shocking Kate Middleton looked amazing? She was already blessed with model good looks and top it off with endless money and she damn well better look like a million bucks, she was probably wearing more than that in diamonds and lace.

So what that they look happy? So what that they
were the only ones at the wedding who looked like they even cared. What does that say about the union? Everyone wearing those hideous hats and prancing around as though they were important. I love how everyone tries to pretend the future king isn't going bald at a shockingly young age. If he wasn't a prince there is no way a girl like Middleton marries the semi-bald dude, I don't care how "sweet" he is.

All I know is the bandwidth taken up by this overly pompous wedding slowed down online game play and plugged up all the important photo sites with 100's of the same pictures and people tweeting about how the couple "just passed." Well duh! You knew the route. It's not like they were waving at you. If they wanted to wave to you, you would have been in the church!

While I respect the couple is trying to be "of the people" but come on, like that's not just a big ploy to get people to "love" them? Even the pretend "shock" they feigned when walking out for their first public kiss. Yeah, they had no idea all those people would be there. Like that should have been such an important moment. They were shacking up before the wedding, you really think the kiss is so new? It isn't like when Diana was forced to marry that toad Charles, now there was a shocking kiss.




I guess we should all be glad there are finally a few good genes in the royal blood. Heck, at least the royal family is discerning, in America all you need is a sex tape to be a star. Maybe I should love Kate Middleton for being somewhat deserving of her fame...but I can't bring myself not to hate her.

I am glad her photos will be full of ugly hats. I think those smart daughters of Fergie chose the most hideous hats on purpose in protest of their mother being snubbed. That and the fact they obviously have no shot of ever being considered important in that Windsor Family, I can respect girls who are standing up for the normally pretty girls, what's wrong with normal? Why do you have to go so big to show off your gorgeousness. If you really want to be like the rest of the world, play it down a bit, then maybe, just maybe I could kind of like you.

A GIRL?

I am not sure how I feel about the new girl in the office, Alex Cameron. While I would like to think this will elevate the respect of women in our workplace just looking at her makes me think not. I mean, who does she think she is? You can't look like that and garner respect! She should play it down a bit, she's not a super model, she's the boss. How can I look at her pretty, pretty face and not want to spoon her eyes out? Of course, if she is half as tough in the real world as she is in the gaming arena, I wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of that sword. Watching the guys oogle over her makes me sick. I can only hope it will turn her stomach just the same. I mean that has to be so mortifying to have men drool and fawn at your every whim. Linus couldn't even speak! How lame.

I have to give her a chance. She is likely to give me some great reviews because she will understand my fight to be recognized. She will understand my deeper need to please and be noticed. She might look like Lucy Liu but she has the brains of a genius or she wouldn't be where she is. We are approaching a whole new world, one where the women will rise to the top of the heap, be able to knock those dudes into submission and I will finally win over the most perfectly perfect specimen of a man and live happily ever after. Of course I am talking about Ryan, he's just so perfect and he even singled me out the other day... I mean Ryan Reynolds naturally, there are no other Ryan's on the planet. Scarlett you are a fool! You didn't deserve him anyway!